Monday, March 11, 2013

Justice or Revenge?


Revenge
By: Will Schenker
    Waiting in the line at the bank, Blaze Florence, an eight year old from the Bronx, plays with his iPod while his dad talks to Mr. Prost, a heavy man that his dad worked with back in the days.  Turning off his iPod, Blaze glanced at the door counting 5 masked people walking in.  One of them shot the security quickly while the other four fired one shot at the ceiling.  Everyone proned on the cold marble floor and listened for what the men had to say after a gunshot silenced the bank.  
    “All of the kids and moms, go stand in the corner.  All of the rest of you stay down.  If you move, you will die,” the tallest one screamed.  
    All five of them scattered about and grabbed as much money as they could.  As Blaze peaked out from behind Mr. Prost`s wife, two men stood up and shot three masked men quickly.  One of them went down shooting everywhere and hit Ari Prost in the stomach.  she trembled down to the ground.  The other two men came out from the back and shot the two men who tried saving us and two ladies and a child were escaping.  
    The other six men were dragged up.  The leader (the tallest one) took out a Mini Uzi and killed half of them, shooting at any body part.  All that was left was some short guy, Mr. Prost and Dom Florence, Blaze`s dad.  
    “Only one of you can live, and I will decide which one,” the leader shouted.  
Fear was struck into Blaze`s heart.  Questions dashed through his mind.  Blaze knew that either Mr. Prost or his dad would die, or sadly, even both.  Now Blaze could feel the warm tears sliding off of his cheeks.
“Seeing that your wife is already dead, I don't see a particular reason to keep you.  Jeffrey, come over here and let this man see his wife in heaven.”
Jeff listened to the leader`s demands and put the silenced pistol on his back.  The bank went quiet again after seeing Mr. Prost fall to the floor.
“The rest of you who are still alive, walk in front of the door,” the leader shouted with panic in his voice.  “Alright, now you little boy (referring to Blaze), open the doors slowly.  Everyone follow him slowly or you will join the rest of the people in the bank.”
With police lowering their guns as the hostages walked out, one last bang put everybody in fear.  As people scattered about, Blaze pushed through the small crowd to find his dad, laying on the sidewalk.  Blake could see Jeff and the leader run around the corner.  Blaze squeezed his dad's hand, put his head on his dad's chest and let out a loud scream. Police officers then lifted Blaze off the ground and brought him to the station.  Blaze described everything that he could remember too a couple officers.
“I want to be a cop so I can kill the guy that killed my dad,” Blazed yelled into the officer's face.  
“I know how you feel little boy, but you are too young just wait a few more years.  Then we will hunt the guy down if we have not already,” the officer replied.
Blaze did exactly that.  One week after his nineteenth birthday, he received his badge and gun and was accepted into the N.Y.P.D.  Blaze met with the officer eleven years ago and he gave him the file Blaze was waiting for: the bank robbery from July 14th, 2004.  Blaze looked at all five suspects and read each profile.  Carlos and Juan Revis, two brothers were the two that died in the bank, Julio Rivera died in the hospital.  Julio was the one who shot Ari Prost while stumbling down Blaze remembered.  The two men that escaped alive were Jeffrey Ramirez and Juarez Rojas.  Jeff was the one who shot Mr. Prost.  The man Blaze wanted was Juarez.  The man who would pay for his dad's death.   
“Do we have any idea where the two men that are left are?”
“Well Blaze, we know that Jeff was caught in a holdup at a gas station in downtown and is serving life.  Juarez though, has disappeared since the bank robbery.  
“Hold on boys.”  Everyone looked to the door to find a female holding up a piece of paper.
“Blaze, this is our in tel officer, Abbio Godecki.  Abbio, this is our new recruitment, Blaze Florence.  He is working with me on this one.”
“Well Blaze and Captain Matthew Hastings, I got a hit on Juarez Rojas.  Security at a hotel said he just checked in.  I will send the address to your phones”.  
Blaze and Matt hopped into the cruiser and flew into Syracuse.  They pulled up right in front of the hotel.  
“Which room did Juarez Rojas check into,” Matt asked the front desk, flashing his badge.  “Room 32 on the fourth floor,” she replied smiling while Blaze waited for the elevator and Hastings rushed up the staircase.
When Blaze and Matt met up again, they found an unconscious service worker in front of the door.  Blaze helped the man up.  His name was Joe, according to the name tag.  Captain Hastings broke down the door and found Juarez sitting on his bed looking out the window.  Blaze got up slowly and was knocked down by Joe.  Joe reached for the gun on Blaze`s belt, grabbed it and aimed at Matthew.  Hastings focused on Joe now, allowed Juarez to put a bullet into Matt`s back.  Captain Hastings rolled over and fired a bullet right into Joe`s forehead.  He quickly then aimed for Juarez who shot him five time before he could pull the trigger.
When Blaze regained consciousness, he was tied to a chair with blood dripping off of his forehead.  
“So we meet again little boy.”
“You'll never get away with this.”
“But I will.  If I die, I'll have more people replace me and hunt you and your family down.  So don`t think you even stand a chance.”
Juarez then loaded a gun, aimed it at Blaze and smiled.
“Sweet dreams,” he chuckled.
Just as his finger was ready to squeeze the trigger, Blaze kicked Juarez below the belt and hit the chair against him.  Blaze ran backwards into a wall freeing himself as the chair broke too many pieces.  He tackled Rojas to the ground and both of them started fighting.  Blaze grabbed the gun and shot him right in the leg.  
“This is for my father you son of a gun,” Blaze said as serious as he could placing the handcuffs around Juarez`s wrists.  “You are under arrest Juarez Rojas.  Anything you say or do can be used against you in the court of law.”
When Blaze arrived back at the station, Juarez was put into a cell, and Blaze asked about Matt Hastings.  
“He will be fine.  That is why we all wear out bullet proof vests,” Abbio answered.  “Why didn't you kill the guy when you had the chance?”
“Because I believe in doing the right thing than seeking for revenge.”

1 comment:

  1. 1. The conflict of the story was when Blaze is tied to a chair and Juarez is pointing a gun at him about to shoot him. I was very interested in the resoultuion and the conflict was very dramatic.
    2. The character changes over time when he becomes a cop who hunts down his father's killer. In the end he brings him to jail for justice. This change is important because this is how Juarez gets caught.
    3. My favorite part of the story is the climax when I don't know whether Juarez is going to win or Blaze will win. I liked this quote because it was right when the climax happened."Juarez then loaded a gun, aimed it at Blaze and smiled.
    “Sweet dreams,” he chuckled."
    4. The tale's best quality is the characters and the conflict. The conflict is very suspenseful and dramatic.
    5. The story's theme is revenge because Blaze is searching for his dad's killer to get revenge.
    6. I don't have any suggestions for revision.

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